Watch For Children

  Sometimes women at a club or mixer will ask if I have kids.  I’ll say, “No, I don't work for KAOS, but I have several nieces and nephews locally with whom I enjoy spending time.  The conversation drifts to other topics and then returns inexorably to children.  “Well,” I reiterate, “I have lots of nieces and nephews.”  “Oh, we’ve heard  that story!”  Like I’m a piece of shit if I don’t have kids.  Having a baby doesn’t make you a hero; it makes you a parent.

                A gal sure shows her devotion

                When a guy has been taken ill,

                With soup, organic juice and potion,

                She brings him a big basket filled.

                To help him get a good night’s slumber,

                There’s tea  and bread on the shelf,

                But, alas, she forgets his number,

                When his seeds are kept to himself.

  Some folks believe that the smart people should have kids to help offset all the dumb ones reproducing.  My parents used to use that argument on my older brother back when he was very anti-children.  (Which he was up until his wife, eleven years into the marriage, gave him an ultimatum.)  I don’t quite buy into that argument.  Many smart people whom I respect choose not to reproduce.  People like Steve Martin.  Let Steve focus on making movies, and the breeders can collect all the DVDs.