All of the Good Ones Are Taken

     I once worked on the set of a film that took so long in post-production that by the time it was ready to release, another film had taken the title.  The reason Hollywood is doing so many sequels and reboots is that all possible titles have been used.

Ghost, Ghost World, Ghost Town, Ghost Writer, Ghost Rider.

Just in Time, Nick of Time, Out of Time, Out of Sight, At First Sight.  You get the idea.

    A guy I know is always trying to get folks to come on board his projects, and he’s always writing crazy screenplays.   I don’t think these have been taken.  Yet.

Luxury, Smug Jury—The  story of a jury who convicts on all counts after being fed up with high-priced legal teams.

Representative Slice—A notoriously corrupt congressman is dubbed  “Representatve Slice” after a series of ultra-porky projects get funded for his cronies.  (It’s a bacon joke.) 

Doppelgangbanger—A crime family composed of identical quadruplets runs amok in New York.


Homing In—An RV salesman has a mixup with one of his paychecks, causing him to lose his house, so he moves his family into one of the motor homes on the lot.

Illegal Alien vs Unexpected Pregnancy—???  No idea.

   There should be an oscar for Best Gum-Chewing.  All time best gum-chewing:  Rod Steiger, In the Heat of the Night.   Runner-up:  Pacino, Glengarry, Glen Ross.

   Never go to a movie whose one-word title ends in “-iana.”

   Can anyone watch a movie called The Rundown without thinking, The Rock and Rosario Dawson could make one helluva porno.

   Ms Poehler  and Sedaris could get really hopped up on coffee, and make a movie called Chasing Amy.  Wait, I think that’s taken.

 Harry and the Secret Chamber Pot, with Rupert Grunt.

   Do people even go to movies anymore?  A movie theater has become just a place to sit.  Sit under the A/C and try to make out with your date. 

   Movies advertised as “It will play with your mind”:  Who says I want my mind played with?  Play with my balls.


   Movies  advertised as “An action-packed thrill ride”:  Why not just go to a theme park?

    Which actor starred in the movie Flight Plan?

a)      Ian McShane

b)      Sean Bean

c)       Mr Bean

d)      Colm Meaney

e)       Mean Joe Greene

              

    Enjoy the Oscars, everybody!