Coney Crimes

    So we’re going to ban 32-oz sodas but continue allowing 52 hot dogs in 10 minutes? 

    It’s hard not to have mixed feelings about Mayor Bloomberg.  He seems like a very smart, effective leader who genuinely cares about people.  I happen to agree that restaurant patrons do have the right to know what’s in their food.  But you can’t legislate what people do to themselves.  There are people with hot dog carts in their house, next to the chocolate fountain and the funnel cake maker.   Indeed, some people are orchestrating the food equivalent of Nick Cage’s alcohol suicide in Leaving Las Vegas. 

    That said, publicly glorifying overeating at Coney Island every summer is a crime against the planet.  It’s why  animals hate us, and when I say animals, I’m naturally including most other humans.

    In an old Washington Post article titled Local Resident Claws Way to Lobster-Eating Championship, we learn that Sonya Thomas, known as “The Black Widow,” has eaten 38 lobsters in 12 minutes.  Another tasty tid bit:  "Thomas was coming off a baked bean victory days before in Indiana, where she ate 8.4 pounds  of beans with pork in 2 minutes 47 seconds."

    I would imagine she was also just coming off the toilet.