No one likes being
lied to. For six months I negotiated a
relationship with a woman who, it turns out, lies for sport. Her motto:
When you come to a fork in the tongue, take it. I was playing with fire there, and our
relationship was probably more like a transaction.
Nobody likes a liar. And yet we also don’t care for people who claim that they never
lie. There is a proper amount of lying
that should take place in order to spare feelings, avoid embarrassment and keep
the wheels of society lubricated.
My supervisor at
work claims that she never lies. Is it
lying to let someone take credit for something they didn’t do? What
about exaggerating? Acting? Keeping up
appearances? Flakiness, omissions, glossing
over, dressing up? Isn’t
being full of shit a form of lying?
On the internet, if you’re not fully happy with the hand you’re dealt,
you can fold or you can bluff. How many
people are one hundred percent forthcoming on the internet? (Why do you think they call it the web?)
Another thing
people fudge is resumes. Come on; when a
guy puts, “went extra mile to assist the
President with crucial trade presentation in San Antonio,” what he really means is “Road trip! Got chance to hit San Antone for three days
of comped hotel room and buffets. The
President is my college roommate.
(Neither of us got laid.)”
Who lies more, employers
or job applicants? Producers or consumers? Students or teachers? Doctors or patients? Pre-sex men or pre-tip waitresses? Athletes or people in show business? Children or their parents? I’d bet
that if we could interpret animal
behavior and communication more accurately, we’d find most of them lie,
too.
If
you work for a major food or drug corporation, that doesn’t necessarily mean
you’re a liar. If you work for a
tabloid, it doesn’t automatically make you a liar, personally. If you're involved in politics on the state
or national level…okay, you’re a fucking
liar. It’s right in the job description. In fact, there are people who feel it’s a complete and
utter waste of time to listen to politicians.
(It’s also a waste of time to use two different words that mean
the same thing, like complete and utter.)
